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三代同堂与道德虚无和老人政治 China's Family
三代同堂与道德虚无和老人政治 China's Family Culture - Detrimental to Youin 陈凯论坛 Kai Chen Forum 不自由，毋宁死! Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death! Fri Oct 14, 2011 7:18 am
by fountainheadkc • 1.370 Posts
China's Family Culture - Detrimental to You
[size=18]价值一语： Words of Value: [/size]
The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion. --- Old Testament: Psalms 92: 12
败坏之人在无人追逐时就会逃跑： 但正直之人会像雄狮一样勇敢而立。 --- 旧约： Psalms 92: 12
By Kai Chen 陈凯 (Reprint 10/14/2011)
Aside from forcing children to mimic Chinese ancestors' calligraphy with a brush （consciously or unconsiously taking away their own individuality and freedom), one of the most detrimental practices in a Chinese family -- detrimental to the children's moral and psychological development and contributing to the pathological "Old Men Politics" in the Chinese society, is the common family practice of "Multi-Generational Residences and Households".
三代同堂，四代同堂，“Multi-Generational Family Structure within A Single Household" leads to children's moral confusion, nihilistic understanding of the world and the ubiquitous evil practice of "Old Men Politics" 老人政治 in the Chinese society.
In a multi-generational family household, it is extremely hard to instill a sense of objective reality and moral absolutes in the children. Even in a nuclear family - a family that consists of only parents and children, to maintain moral consistency by coordinating between the parents to present the right model for the children's moral and psychological development needs constant effort. Fighting between parents in front of children is maybe the most damaging to the children's psyche and mental health. Yet just imagine if a family has multi-generations living together under the same roof, with children constantly being fed inconsistent (often directly conflicting) messages regarding morality, reality, truths and right conduct..., from their parents and grandparents.
As you may already have experienced in such a family, lying, hiding the truth, distortion of facts and reality, torturing mind with confusion and illusion lead to severe nihilistic view on morality and delusional perspective on reality. Anything can be changed and any position can be shifted at any given moment in such a family. Children learn to adapt to form some very unhealthy expedient thinking and behavioral habits, just to survive, just to avoid conflict, just to have a moment of peace and quiet. Reality becomes blurred. Truth becomes opaque. Morals become relative. Social hierarchy with its status and classes is deeply imprinted into the Children's mind and mentality. Power by age and gender seeps into the Children's consciousness. Nothing is clear-cut anymore. Nothing makes any sense anymore. Being a "monkey king" 孙猴子七十二变，with no moral positions, no individual points of views, no stand anywhere becomes the most desirable:
In such a family, children learn to lie just to appease and please the adults. They learn to hide their feelings and emotions just to get by, at a tremendous psychological cost later on. They learn to be obedient and keep their mouths shut facing injustice and outright evil. To them, all morals are relative and they are dependent on power, age, gender, social status, money..., everything but good or evil, right or wrong, truth or falsehood. Meaninglessness and expediency are germinated and permeated in the entire consciousness of the children, and they will apply this extreme nihilism later on, onto their own environment when they grow up.
No wonder in Chinese society, you have the sickness and pathology of despotism, moral relativity, nihilism, oppression, slave-mentality, fatalism, "monkey king complex of standing everywhere and nowhere", old-men polity, power worship, small-man mentality, eunuchism..., all the sick and evil elements that a moral and normal human being should never have. It all starts from the children and their unhealthy upbringing in a morally deprived, mentally confusing and philosophically nihilistic family structure.
Most common excuse for forming and living in such an ill family structure, besides following cultural tradition of "Filial Piety" 孝，is money. Most Chinese will tell you that multi-generational families save money. But these shrewd Chinese without intelligence have never realized at what cost, the cost that can never be messured by money with its damage done on human morals and psyche, they are saving a few bucks. For money and social status, they would rather kill their children, from inside slowly, making them just like walking dead -- zombies just like themselves. What a stupid decision, shrewd on finance maybe, but idiotic in morality and spirituality.
"You have to eat first". You often hear the Chinese assert, with their anti-value wisdom. Yet with this philosophy, historically the Chinese are forever hungary, for they, with their small mind, will never realize that individual human beings with their freedom and integrity, are the fountainhead of creativity and productivity. America is one such prime example. By focusing on human mental, moral and spiritual development, humans are not only free from oppression of others, but inevitably, free from hunger and deprivation of other human necessities.
Maybe when and after you read this essay, you will start thinking about your own upbringing and your own family structure with its ills and negative aspects. Maybe you will do something about it. Maybe you will embark on a new path to bring up your children. Maybe you will realize truth about the traditional Chinese family structure with its tremendously detrimental effect on Children and on the Chinese society in whole. And maybe then, something new and more healthy can start to appear and a new moral family culture and structure can finally be developed with your strong political will to change and intrepid human spirit to triumph over all evil, no matter where it comes from and how long it has existed in history so far.
My best wishes to you all. May God bless you and your family.